Messing around with a married man had it’s perks but s***, I wasn’t trying to get killed over them. What the hell did I get myself into. I should have left his ass alone when he told me he was married. But that “D” was too damn good. Apparently she thought so to.

“Shut up!! You speak when your spoken to!”

“Please, I’m sorry!! I swear I didn’t know he was married!!”

I knew that made her instantly upset because she fired a shot towards me barely missing my head. All I could think in that moment was, Well damn! this bitch not playing. I couldn’t blame her for being mad. But why is she taking this out on me? You may ask. Shouldn’t she be taking this out on her man? Well you would think that since it is her man that wronged her. But I kind of hurt her to. I know I’m just the side chick but once you realize how these pieces fall in to place you’ll understand why she’s so mad.

Well hey ya’ll I’m Desire, well that’s my stage name. My real name is Monique but I don’t like to give to many people my real name, so let’s keep that between you and me.

I’m a dancer for a club based in a very affluent area in Miami. I can’t lie when I say that this job had been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have come a long way from being that dusty dingy crumb snatcher walking the streets begging for pocket change. I’m just happy that the worst is over ( So I thought).

Like I said this job has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. That is until I met my baby Sheila. Sheila wasn’t your average female she was open about everything that she ever intended on persuing and that included sexually whether it was with me or someone else. We had been dating for a little while now and I still had no clue where she lived or if she lived with anyone. She let me know from the beginning though that she had a son from a previous marriage. Also that she rather keep her son shielded from her flings. That’s the reason she gave me when I asked if I could meet him, and she said “NO”. It stung like a b**** but at least she was being honest. Can’t fault here for that.

“Hey love. What’s on the agenda for today?”

“Well I have to pick up my son from basketball practice and then we’re going out afterwards to celebrate his birthday.”

“Wow, how old is he now?”

“Well, he’s sixteen.”

“Who’s all going?”

“Why are you so concerned?! I told you know your place! I don’t give you money for you to ask me questions. This is suppose to be a judge free zone.”

“And it is Baby. Don’t think I’m judging. I’m showing interest because I want us to become more than what we are.”

“Well I like what we have. I’m not sure that I want it to change.”

“Of course you do! You get to f*** anyone you want. Mean while I’m over here catching feelings for you!

Sheila, I thought I could do this but I can’t. Not anymore. The only way for us to continue is you promise to be with me and only me.”

“Well, I’m sorry I can’t do that. I’m having to much fun. Besides what I look like letting someone like you tell me what I can and can’t do? Let’s not forget who provided you with all of this!”

“Let’s get something straight. You do give me money, but don’t think that the little pocket change you give me is enough for me to be living like I do.”

“Oh, that’s right you do have other johns. I forgot about that. Well tell me how many of them did you have to blow to be able to get this condo!”

“Get the f*** out of my house. For all I care I never have to see your self absorbed ass again!”

“Fine by me. I’m sure that you’ll be calling me again when those dudes get tired of your old used up loose p****!”

“No, I’m sure that you’ll be calling me before I ever pickup any phone to call you!”


I never understood why I let her get away with treating me the way she did. A part of me felt I let her do it because she was the only older woman in my life that gave me a sense of what having a mother would be like. But now that is over, good thing that it is. She was dragging me down anyway. With her constant need to verbally tear me down so she could build herself up.

“Let me see what I can get myself in to. Maybe I can go in and make a couple dollars.”

“What’s up Desire?”

“Nothing. Thought I’d come in and make a little money.”

“I thought you were off for the night. Thought you had plans with that fine a** cougar that you be parading around the club all the time.”

“I did, but she so damn self absorbed that the only feelings she cares about are her own.”

“I thought that’s what you wanted. Your the one that said you were only messing with ol girl for the pay out.”

“Yeah I said that. But I’m really starting to catch feelings.”

“Desire you already no that you can’t mix business with pleasure. That’s what these tricks want, so they don’t have to worry about paying you no more. You already know how it go. I told you when you first started working here to guard your heart. The reality is most of them don’t give a damn about you. They just want to get they rocks off.”

“Yeah, I know Mahogany. But I thought that I could make a life with her.”

“Stop trying to see these tricks as reasonable, sensible people because I’m sure that they don’t see you that way. You already know that strippers get a bad name as it is and the odds of someone treatin you like someone instead of something knowing that you a stripper are slim. Most people disregard us before they ever get the chance to know us. That is what you have to keep in mind when you decide to jump in bed with one of them.”

“Mahogany I know all this! But that doesn’t stop the fact that I’m really starting to fall for Ol’ girl.”

“Well, get your ass up! Because going by what you told me about her, it doesn’t sound like she feels the same about you.”


“Ain’t no, ‘whatever’! You know that woman don’t want you for nothing more than getting her rocks off.”

“Of course you would say that, you don’t know the type of connection me and Sheila have.”

“Like I told you, the only thing you need to be trying to connect with is her wallet. Because I’m damn sure the only thing she wants to connect with is your body and that tongue.”

“Ewww, you so nasty!!!”

“Nah, you the one that’s nasty. You don’t know who that old hoe screwin and you putting your mouth on her old beat up twat. I hope you using something, because Ol’ girl look like she been around a few times.”

“Stop that! You so damn silly. But as far as I know I was the only female she was with. She told me I was her first same sex thing.”

“And you believed her?!”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Probably because ya’ll been screwing for almost a year and you still know nothing about this bitch.”

“That’s not true! I know that she has a son and his birthday was today. Also she was married before.”

“Like I said you know nothing about the bitch! You only know what she chooses to let you know. And what she telling you don’t have to be true, it could just be something to tell you for you to stop asking questions.”

“Why would she go through that much effort?”
“Think about it. When you get to asking questions about her life, is the only time she offers up information when ya’ll about to have sex?”

Continuation of Desire Every Tuesday


“What is that suppose to mean?”

“It means she’s only telling you things to shut your ass up!”

“Nah, I don’t think so.”

“You can not face reality if you want to. But I’m telling you, Ol’ Girl just want you for the coota.”

“Mahogany, why you mind always got to be in the gutter?!”

“Baby, wake up. I’m just telling you what you need to hear, so you can realize that she don’t care about you.”

“How could you say that?!”

“Easy, because I know what it look like.”

“That might have been true for you. But it doesn’t mean the same thing is going to happen to me.”

“Desire, I’m telling you this out of love. Please don’t take offense.”

“I’m not offended. I just don’t think this situation is the same as yours or the ones you’ve seen.”

“Desire, I’m only telling you what I know. It’s up to you what you’re gonna do.”

“Thanks, Mahogany. But you know what I really want to do?!”

“What’s that?”