I’m going to be doing my first open mic night in a couple of weeks. I’m so nervous!!! Speaking in front of people isn’t something that comes easy to me. It’s hard for me to speak in a group of people. I don’t know how I’m gonna speak in front of a whole audience. But I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. In this moment I just want to say that I’m so happy for life. There are so many responsibilities we take on day to day that sometimes we forget to just live. Me stepping on that stage in many ways is like starting my life all over again.
When life first began for me, I was a very outspoken child. Always did great in academics, and was always very creative. I remember there was a time I entered into a contest, I believe I was in 3rd grade and I drew a picture of a drive by; it was for a Martin Luther King contest. I think first prize was cash and some sort of prize. Do you know I was disqualified because they believed my picture was to detailed and advanced for a child my age?! That is one example out of many how and why I became the shy, fearful, nonchalant person I have become. I’m really trying to change that, because some where along the way I lost that instinct to fight for what I want and what I deserve. I know like many of you, you deserve so much more than what you have been given and what you have. The only problem is you have become complacent with getting less than what you’re worth. There are so many people out here that do wrong on a minute to minute basis and they get what they want because they haven’t allowed the people and the situations they’ve gone through to dictate the way they have chosen to live.
I really believe that’s the reason I admire people who are flamboyantly gay, lesbian, queer, bi, trans, and pansexual; because they don’t allow what other people think of them to stop them, when it comes to living life. They have learned to face things head on. I think if a lot more of us lived this way instead of ducking our heads in the sand every time something gets hard, we would have a life full of purpose, great times, and many beautiful memories to look back on.
In many ways this is me trying something different, living a more abundant, fearless, grab life by the cohunes type of life.
Have you ever felt fearful and nonchalant about life? If so what was the thing that took away your fight?
Also if you’re looking for a book to read this month, check out my newly published book